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Whatever's Gonna Make You Want Me

by Sundrops

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1.
Winter Break 01:52
I came by after dark to drink your sublet room on chauncy st it was snowing by the time I left I didn't see you for another month as my bike froze over winter break your cat snuck out and got replaced I came by to work on songs with you we hadn't played in a week or two we should practice more and play for real but the more I try the worse I feel so laying down flat across your floor we'll put it off a little more I came by but I couldn't stay long and sometimes I just can't tell what's wrong I know that I'm acting weird but the more I try the worse I feel
2.
Cincinnati 01:45
when you said you were in town and I should go for drinks with you I thought it would be weird I hadn't seen you since school but when we went for drinks it wasn't weird at all cuz you were so funny and you were so smart I couldn't help from staring in the warm neon glow and my heart broke a little when you said you had to go cuz I waned to ask if you like pyscocandy what it was like growing up in cincinnati why you never use your twitter and if you're going home this winter I wanna send you letters in the mail and I'd come myself if you'd invite me there til then I'm online hoping you DM me as if this were aim and it was 2003 I wanna buy beers & get drunk by the river and maybe then we could make out a little I wanna see all your favorite movies and fall asleep next you you watching tv I just wanna be where you want me to be whatever's gonna make you want me I don't know why I didn't notice before but you're the kind of guy that I could easily fall for
3.
Home Safe 02:48
summers past superimposed I overslept in smoke soaked clothes you say you're doing better now with nothing left to disavow a mountain lake, a silver cross you say you conquered your bad thoughts call me later when you get home safe easy promise easy prey you're learning out to get away like when it's safer walking home alone than to get in a car with the boys you know call me later when you get home safe we're running out of options
4.
there's a couple of things that I'll never forgive you for don't know what it means not to talk to you anymore I get that we can't still hang out as much but I always assumed we'd at least stay in touch you never asked if my grandpa got better I spent halloween at his arlington funeral I tried deleting yr number but I know it by heart now I'm waxing poetic drunk texts after dark now you seem annoyed maybe I'm misremembering my doctor said depression ruins short term memory
5.
we were up all night talking but you were ignoring me because you never listen you just try to sound deep when you got so drunk you threw up in the street I'll stick around til you ask me to leave and I won't really care if you treat me any better cuz you look so good in a cable knit sweater you say the story's in the soil, keep your ear to the ground just to look up my skirt when I go to lean down you study the history of your favorite bands but when they come on at parties you say you don't dance for all that I know you don't ever see daylight you text me like clockwork on saturday nights when you stumble in around midnight or later you look so good in that cable knit sweater I'd like to stay wrapped around yr finger like a thread of yr cable knit sweater
6.
I remember back in 2006 you drew a lopsided heart on my favorite mix that was the first time I ever heard pavement it's in a box in my parents basement with the birthday mix you made for me when we were together in 2013 I guess a lot has changed since then we saw this same lineup in 2010 I should have known you'd be here again cuz I'm stuck with you again and again and again and it's not even fun anymore it's not even fun anymore it's not even fun when we saw this same lineup in 2010 these bands were still playing house shows back then it was the night we hopped that fence after I still have the scar on my little finger you said you'd walk me home that night you stayed a few feet ahead on your bike and I still thought "well yah this counts" you still slept over at my house I should have known we'd end up here again cuz we end up here again and again and again and it's not even fun anymore it's not even fun anymore it's not even fun it's not even fun
7.
just being around you makes me high and I always hated getting high because I feel like I can't leave the couch and I get too scared to open my mouth my heart starts beating really fast I grind my teeth, hide shaky hands I guess you just bring out that side of me all the normal signs of social anxiety I know that I need for people to like me and you're so hard to please
8.
I'm not really good at keeping up with my friends as they keep moving outta state and I'm not really good at keeping track of my time no way to differentiate the days the older that I get it's getting harder to forget all of the stupid shit I say and there's nothing more I want than to stop retrospective thinking and live my life day to day but some things never change you're still outta town I'm still hanging around I'm still keeping my chin to the ground I'm still bringing down the old crowd and whenever I feel bad I wanna talk to you so bad but I know you feel shitty too and then I just feel guilty that I haven't called all month and I have nothing else to do cuz some things never change
9.
Daydreaming 02:45
I told myself I wouldn't call but I still put your record on and we have conversations in my head about the title track and the one you said reminds you of the night we got so drunk we danced to corny songs about the one that got away and sang along until the sun came up the next day I'm daydreaming I know I shouldn't be thinking about you this much but I wanna let you sink in in another life you're on the phone now hushed and cooing you call and ask what I'd be doing if I was in your room in another life you're telling me about your afternoon you're telling me you'll see me soon you're telling me to go to sleep
10.
Watered Down 01:41
you dismiss me out of hand or willfully misunderstand you say you loved me all along like the way you love your friends back home you never were my boyfriend and once i'm gone we won't be friends nostalgia prone and watered down you only want me when i'm not around you're so smart and i'm so clumsy honestly you hardly know me but you still make my stomach hurt you still make me feel like dirt you only like me watered down you only want me when i'm not around so i'll leave town

credits

released October 19, 2017

sundrops is sarah friedman
cover photo by sid newman & design by sarah friedman
recorded by dan thorn at pink noise studios in somerville
mixed & masted by dan thorn

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Sundrops Boston, Massachusetts

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